


Pull Me Under

by LittleBlueArtist



Category: Free!
Genre: Beware, M/M, Made for a friend, This is really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 20:50:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3623847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBlueArtist/pseuds/LittleBlueArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haruka Nanase is lost, and there's no one left to guide him</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pull Me Under

Haruka has always swum. Laps back and forth, gliding through water easier than he walked on land. His body was made for the water. The Iwatobi High’s pool is like his own home, and the laps he’s doing now are so familiar. Back and forth, back and forth, one straight line down the middle like he always does. Over twenty laps and he keeps going, the breath being stolen from his lungs as he keeps swimming unable to stop because there’s no hand anymore there’s no one to help him up he can’t breathe _can’tbreathecan’tbreathecan’tbreathe._

There’s no more voice to ask if he needs help, to stop him from undressing in public. There’s no one else no one. And even though he’s hauled himself out of the pool the air feels like water filling his lungs and Haru wonders if this was what Makoto felt like in those last moments. If the feeling of panic and horror gave way to peace as he let the water bury him whole. The riptide had come out of nowhere, a huge wave pulling Makoto under with its icy fingers and holding him until he surrendered his life.

At the funeral, Haru itched to move his tie because it was crooked and he wanted to fix Makoto’s hair because it wasn’t parted right, and those lips looked so cold he wanted to warm them up. He wanted to steal Makoto from his grave and make him alive again, make him breathe once more. Haru isn’t breathing anymore. The panic fills his lungs until air feels like knives and he’s heaving on the side of the pool, needing someone there to tell him it will be okay and that he’ll make him some soup.

But there’s no voice, and there’s no smiling green eyes. There’s no more silently begging Haruka to keep a kitten, no more lips turning upwards and battling the sun. No more of anyone just knowing what he’s thinking and Nagisa has Rei, Rin has Gou and Haruka is _alone_ because the only person there for him went and fucking _died_.

Before he processes what’s happening, Haruka is running towards the cemetery, where Makoto was put in the ground over three weeks ago and his headstone is the freshest one in there. There’s an inscribed “caring son and loving brother” on the slab of stone and Haru wants to burn the words “come back” onto it because he hopes that’ll be enough to bring him back and he just needs him back. It’s no longer a want it’s a burning anger and seed of hatred for his best friend.

How dare Makoto leave him alone _how dare he leave him to figure things out on his own_. They had a plan, move to Tokyo together while Makoto goes to teaching school and Haru trains they had a _plan_. “You were never supposed to leave me.” The words come out cracked and dry and Haruka thinks they’re the first words he said since he heard the news of _Haruka, honey, there’s been an accident…_ and he thinks that his throat can’t handle to say anymore but he cries them out anyway.

“You left me alone! You said you would always be by my side and you left! You broke your promise, Makoto! Come back so you can keep it! Come back! Call me Haru-chan all you want, I just need you back.” And by the time he’s done yelling tears are pouring out of his eyes and his knees have sunken into the dirt, and it’s the first time he’s cried around Makoto since the third grade, yet he can’t get himself to stop. There’s so much water pouring down his face he wonders if he can fill the pool with it.

Haruka Nanase is lost. He no longer knows where he is going, or what he’s going to do. There is no one left to guide him along, no one left to make sure he’s okay or remind him to eat. He feels the ocean lapping at his feet and for the first time feels resentment towards the water because it was supposed to be his friend but it took away the person he loved most in the world. It stripped him bare until all that remained was blood and bones. Yet he can’t stop himself from swimming, swimming so fast and so long until the ocean is all he knows. He swims until he hears Makoto calling for him, telling him it’s nice underwater, to let the water take him. He swims until he sees Makoto smiling at him, creating light in the dark chasms of the deep waters. He swims until his lungs give out and then he’s sinking, sinking, sinking.

Haruka Nanase’s grave is put right next to Makoto Tachibana’s with the words “caring friend and beloved son” carved into the stone.

**Author's Note:**

> Update: Did you like this fic? Want more of your own? Well I have good news! I've opened commissions! Find the info post [here!](http://noyaplease.tumblr.com/post/149722884338/writing-commissions)


End file.
